dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
