dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ttyl tear gas
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
