he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
