its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ketchup is God's man juice
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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