there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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