I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Who died my cat blue again?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
