i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
