Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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