I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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