my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
