I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
