I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
