do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
