You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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