It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
