love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
