no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
