My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
