her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
