I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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