You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
