whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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