pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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