why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
