New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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