My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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