Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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