help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
