Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
