I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
