We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
