coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
