Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
