almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
