you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why do cheetos always look like penises
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
