Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
should my penis look like a turkey
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
