but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
