When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
