I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
