Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
