were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
