So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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