im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
