I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
