her vagine was all disorganized.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
