She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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