And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i came on her dog
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
