The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
