Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
