The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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