just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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