I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So. Much. Porn.
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