I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
